[KaosTheory]

Thought I'd start a thread for any and all funny stories that are biking related, I'll start with one from my Dad...

Years and years and years ago, when my Dad, his bro and all their mates were tearing round Dublin on 125 2 strokes, my uncle had the fastest 125 in the area and loved showing it off. They were all in the pub one day when they heard the unmistakable sound of my Uncles bike firing to life, they all rushed out to watch some scrote disappearing up the road on it. The only thing is my uncle had put the bike in race shift mode, so the scummer pulled off and nailed it in 2nd thinking it was 1st, went to hook 2nd and got 1st and was very quickly spat off the bike.

As if he didn't hurt himself enough tumbling down the road with no gear on, it only got worse when the 6 lads caught up to him and beat the living boll0x outta him!

Kaos

[Kelpie]

Good enough for him!

One from my late Dad too.

During the infamous winter of 1945 in wartime Britain, my Mum and Dad found themselves on opposite sides of the Pennines. Dad regularly tackled the mountains on his 1935 water cooled Scott to see his lovely wife. On one particularly difficult crossing on the Scott, the water started to freeze and the bike overheated. Once the bike cooled down it was in urgent need of water and there was nothing but ice and snow to be seen.

Anxious to get down to lower ground before nightfall, my 25 year old Dad gingerly peed in the rad/water reservoir of whatever it was. "It smelled a bit odd but it got me there!" said he.

It seems wee wee is quite an effective antifreeze!

[KTRIC]

Kelpie, on 08 June 2011 - 10:49 AM, said:

It seems wee wee is quite an effective antifreeze!

But a word of warning, watch for the escaping steam when you pull of that filler cap before you unzip

[Kelpie]

KTRIC, on 08 June 2011 - 10:54 AM, said:

But a word of warning, watch for the escaping steam when you pull of that filler cap before you unzip

Kelpie, on 08 June 2011 - 10:49 AM, said:

... my 25 year old Dad gingerly peed in the rad/water reservoir of whatever it was.

[Fr Dougal]

Back in 2006 I returned to two wheels after an 18 year gap. I bought a Burgman 400 twist and go. Loved two wheels but hated the burgman so quickly changed to a Deauville 650, purchased directly and shipped over from Brussels, mint condition, 36,000klms on clock.

Picked it up at lunchtime in warehouse and rode back to work, rode like a dream for first few minutes then got very rough and losing power. Got to work okay. After work, went out, started bike, perfect, started to ride home and after a few minutes it got very rough again. Jees, I was thinking what pile of crap am I after buying.... Stopped into M&A Motorcycles on North Strand. Explained the problem to Alan and he came out to have a look, reached over, pushed up a lever on the bars and said.....


try riding it without the choke.....


(In my defence the Burgman had been automatic choke )

This post has been edited by Fr Dougal: 08 June 2011 - 12:11 PM

[CBR 46]

Fr Dougal, on 08 June 2011 - 12:10 PM, said:

Back in 2006 I returned to two wheels after an 18 year gap. I bought a Burgman 400 twist and go. Loved two wheels but hated the burgman so quickly changed to a Deauville 650, purchased directly and shipped over from Brussels, mint condition, 36,000klms on clock.

Picked it up at lunchtime in warehouse and rode back to work, rode like a dream for first few minutes then got very rough and losing power. Got to work okay. After work, went out, started bike, perfect, started to ride home and after a few minutes it got very rough again. Jees, I was thinking what pile of crap am I after buying.... Stopped into M&A Motorcycles on North Strand. Explained the problem to Alan and he came out to have a look, reached over, pushed up a lever on the bars and said.....


try riding it without the choke.....


(In my defence the Burgman had been automatic choke )

Ha ha bet you thought it was something to hang your handbag on

[Darkcloud]

CBR 46, on 08 June 2011 - 12:44 PM, said:

Ha ha bet you thought it was something to hang your handbag on

or his 'small tool' kit

[CBR 46]

Pal of mine (you know him well Fr. D.) was a great man for the ladies. I had a 550/4 at the time and I met him chatting up a few girls one evening. As he got onto the back he said "let it rip", so I did and as he cooly waved goodbye to the girls he fell off backwards.

Same chap lived opposite a bus stop. One evening coming home from work he spotted a girl waiting on the bus. He had a DT at the time and decided to pop a wheelie to impress her. Unfortunately, he didn't get it down in time and crashed through the front door of the house.

Same chap, same DT....one of the lads was in the scouts and got a lend of a movie camera and was making films of us all on our bikes. So our pal said watch me doing a wheelie...he stopped in the middle of the road revving the goolies out of it, let out the clutch and stood there screaming No...no..nooooooo (like the bloke in Beadle's About when they sunk his van) as the DT wheelied away up the road by itself, meandering from side to side threatening to smash into the side of parked cars until it eventually sumersaulted to a stop.

Later on the same evening, the film director said "film me as I come around the bend at the park"....so all was set up, he tore off like a bat out of hell on his SJ and came flying down the road. We waited with bated breath to see him leant over with sparks flying off his engine bars as he rounded the bend....Instead he went straight on up Murphy's driveway and into the back of Mr. Murphy's Cortina.

I had one of them DT's too and we all went off on a scrambling adventure down to Dollymount one day. It was great fun, about 6 of use on DT's and TS's jumping over sand dunes down the end of the beach where nobody goes. We jumped over one sand dune and landed in the middle of a naked couple. I still laugh when I remember the look on your man's face as I came over the top...he must've siht himself as bike after bike landed in their love nest.

About 30 of us used fly around on a motley collection of Honda 50's, DT's, CG's, SJ's, TS's and GT185's (remember the whoosh off them) like a swarm of bees round all the estates before heading out to Howth, Baldoyle, Portmarnock and Malahide. This oul wan (friend of me Ma's) was fed up with us buzzing around and decided to mount a one-woman road block one evening. She was a big woman (like the one Les Dawson used to do) and stood spread-eagled in the middle of the road, spotty dress and rollers in looking as intimidating as only Mammies know how. We all managed to avoid her except for one chap on a CG who hit her right between the legs and continued on up the road for a bit with her straddling the front mudguard. (She was very lucky as he'd only recently removed the number plate from the mudguard).

This post has been edited by CBR 46: 08 June 2011 - 01:21 PM

[Tazzzie]

CBR 46, on 08 June 2011 - 01:20 PM, said:

She was a big woman (like the one Les Dawson used to do) and stood spread-eagled in the middle of the road, spotty dress and rollers in looking as intimidating as only Mammies know how. We all managed to avoid her except for one chap on a CG who hit her right between the legs and continued on up the road for a bit with her straddling the front mudguard. (She was very lucky as he'd only recently removed the number plate from the mudguard).

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Coulda been nasty bless her

[Linda]

Og had just bought some kind of MZ that because of it's colour was promptly nicknamed the banana bike. A gang of us went up to the park to watch Og put it through it's paces. A warm summers day and an icecream van was spotted so by the time we had all decided what was wanted, we turned round to see the ice cream van moving off so all 7 of us promtly got on the bike and chased through the park after the van.

[slevin]

Around 3 years ago I was on my tdr coming up to some crossroads when all of a sudden a boy racer pulls straight out in front of me,so there is me sliding towards him supermoto style(or at least i would like to think) finger firmly pressed on horn while sliding now at these crossroads there was alot of gravel and theres a big hump in the road so anyway i manage not to hit but then i hit the bump hard on the brakes and ended up doing my best superman impression going down the road.At this stage loads of people have stopped.So I get up feel grand few bruises(actually i had internal bleeding and was pishing blood) but i was fine and now everyone is running over to me and i look down there i am in the middle of this crossroads with a whole croud watching me and my pant is down around my ankles!!

[harleyt]

few years ago me and the da got 2 rough yammie dt 125's took em out to the beach one day and i got a bit brave and decided to jump a small hill great thing to do at the time but when i hit the hill i forgot that the seat wasn't secured to the bike so there's me flyin through the air the seat goes south and i crack me hole of the frame there was me in agony and the whole family breakin the holes laughin at me.

[Gatchmaster]

I was at a set of traffic lights one morning in town. Had the girlfriend on the back and was heading into work. I was on a 99 gsxr. It was the middle of winter and was pretty bloody cold when out of the corner of my eye I see something coming straight into the side of me and knock myself and the gf as well as the bike onto the ground. As I get up screening blue murder I notice what it was that ran us over. It was some mad Aussie bloke wearing shorts who was not looking in the direction he was running when he hit right into the side of us. Thought it was funny that I got ran over by a pedestrian. I nearly killed yer man but he ran away terrified while I stood there with the gf laughing.

[Playtime]

Gatchmaster, on 30 December 2011 - 09:16 PM, said:

I was at a set of traffic lights one morning in town. Had the girlfriend on the back and was heading into work. I was on a 99 gsxr. It was the middle of winter and was pretty bloody cold when out of the corner of my eye I see something coming straight into the side of me and knock myself and the gf as well as the bike onto the ground. As I get up screening blue murder I notice what it was that ran us over. It was some mad Aussie bloke wearing shorts who was not looking in the direction he was running when he hit right into the side of us. Thought it was funny that I got ran over by a pedestrian. I nearly killed yer man but he ran away terrified while I stood there with the gf laughing.

can be a very excruciating thing being knocker over by a pedestrian just ask our very own TC

[felonia]

Kelpie, on 08 June 2011 - 10:49 AM, said:

Good enough for him!

One from my late Dad too.

During the infamous winter of 1945 in wartime Britain, my Mum and Dad found themselves on opposite sides of the Pennines. Dad regularly tackled the mountains on his 1935 teenbikewater cooled Scott to see his lovely wife. On one particularly difficult crossing on the Scott, the water started to freeze and the bike overheated. Once the bike cooled down it was in urgent need of water and there was nothing but ice and snow to be seen.

Anxious to get down to lower ground before nightfall, my 25 year old Dad gingerly peed in the rad/water reservoir of whatever it was. "It smelled a bit odd but it got me there!" said he.

It seems wee wee is quite an effective antifreeze!

lol I love that one. I know it has nothing to do with biking, but my bro used to fill his printer color cartridge with water when it was empty. there was a safeguard in the printer refusing to start when a cartridge was empty but he refused to pay for a new color one as he was just printing black and white stuff.

and it worked !

This post has been edited by felonia: 06 January 2012 - 05:21 PM